The Big Black Indian Umbrella

In The Indian Express -- http://www.indianexpress.com/story/222289.html

It’s right there. In a busy street, somewhere in a field, tucked away under a once officious but now retired looking old timer’s arm, definitely in the sabzi or machli mandi, almost always hanging precariously from the handlebar of a Hero cycle or Bajaj scooter and perhaps, standing all solemn and alone in a corner of your house. You really can’t miss the Big Black Indian Umbrella.

Fit for every season, this large umbrella is as synonymous with India as the black bottomed and sharp spouted aluminum kettle is to our chaiwallahs. As high up as Harkidun in Uttaranchal and as low down as Arundhati’s Ayemenem this big black umbrella is an accessory to reckon with.

Kishan Singh, the lone caretaker at Harkidun’s lone lodge for trekkers had one and it would sit right next to him while he sat wiggling his stinky toes by the fireplace, making us our first cup of tea after five hours of trekking. The shiny steel spoke at the umbrella’s end served as the perfect rivet for the walking stick that it often became when he trudged uphill ahead of us. I imagined it to have no less horsepower than Mary Poppins’, for that man could fly up a hill. The wooden handle too served a sly purpose, that of back scratcher… and how it shined.

In rural India, it is not uncommon to see a child and a particularly enterprising goat sharing the shade of this big black umbrella on sunny afternoons. The prized possession of many a village home, it is shared by the grandparents, parents and children. It is also cheerfully offered to visiting sunscreen slathered city people, who of course, are thought to be nauseatingly sun sensitive.

Your nerve at challenging this obviously tried, tested and popular notion will be met not only with laughs but also with some heavy duty entreating. Not only will the oldest, most toothless and wrinkly old lady at hand grasp you by the arm shoving the umbrella into your now automatically outstretched feminine hand, she will also entrust your now empowered-with-black umbrella delicate welfare to the prudence of the tiniest child. You will then realize that you cannot explore the fields without the companionship of both the umbrella and your knee-high, giggling brown bodyguard.

The Lucknow University however, is where our versatile umbrella finds its true calling. Considering the long walks one has to make to navigate between various departments, the floral pink, blue and yellow umbrellas carried by complexion conscious young ladies make for familiar traffic. But these dainty parasols lack the formidable personality and dual purpose of the big black umbrella. This can and has been testified successfully on campus. No discerning young gentleman risks his wellbeing by brushing past the pernicious iron tentacles that shield the smirking clever young ladies, safe under the ominous black shade of their waterproof protectors.